Reader Q + A | How Can I Revive My Relationship?

I’ve been married for 9 years + I’m finding that my relationship is...well dry... how can I bring it back to life?

Ah Dear Reader,

You find yourself in a totally normal position! This happens to every relationship. I want you to know it's the people who are brave enough to ask how they can fix it that end up with healthier relationships! Relationships can grow dry for a number of reasons. When this happens it's not impossible to revive your relationship... it just {like everything else in life} takes work!

Here are a few suggestions to help you get that old spark back {or start a new one} + revive your relationship:

Understand that life happens! When you get married, you start different routines that become habits. Maybe those habits work great for where your mindset, attitude + heart are in your 3rd year of marriage. But maybe by your 6th year of marriage you've evolved + you need something new. You're human! It happens! You may have kids now. You may be working longer hours or shorter hours. You may have moved to a different state. No matter what new changes you're experiencing - sometimes you just need to switch things up! It's no one's fault in's just life! 

Get away.

You might think it's strange that my first bit of advice would be to run away from everything. Especially since Therapists are the ones who advise you not to run away! In this case, running away is considered a healthier option! Take some time to run away from it all - together! Plan an epic vacation for just the two of you! Here's a handy vacation planner to help you figure out where you want to go! 

Try something. 

Once you know where you're going, figure out something you would both be willing to try together! Think about an experience you've never had together before! This experience can be as big or as little as you want it to be. It could be something as simple as trying a Chicago-style hot dog, because you've never had a hot dog before! Or it could be something as extravagant as going sky-diving! This is your trip together + your time together! Cherish it. Make it count. 

Be positive.

Be open-minded about this new experience! You can't dwell on negative thoughts from the past when you're busy creating future memories! After being together for so long it can be difficult to train your mind to see your spouse differently. However, it's much more damaging to your relationship not to see them differently! If things usually start off great, but wane off after an hour -- be proactive about avoiding this cycle!  Actively plan to do things differently! It can be difficult to train your mind to see things differently after being together for so long, but I believe in you!

CLICK TO TWEET | @seidafthc You can't dwell on negative thoughts from the past when you're busy creating future memories! 


Once you've created this brand new experience, revived your relationship + got that old fling back - figure out a way to maintain it! It's easy to be in love when life isn't knocking at the door! What does that mean? When you're sky diving in Paris, it's easy not to hate each other versus when your spouse has locked their keys in the car for the second time this week! Make sense? It takes active planning to maintain the health of any relationship! 

What other suggestions would you offer this reader? I would love to hear about it in the comments or in the Tribe Lounge! 

P.S. Don't forget to grab your FREE vacation planner