Confessions of a Survivor | A Note on Fear

fear is not real

fear | false evidence appearing real


Fear is a powerful thing if we allow it to live with us. Fear stops us from embracing our tribe. Fear holds you back from experiencing life. Fear stops you from living your dreams before you even give them a chance to flourish. Get where I'm going with this? In most cases, fear is not helpful. Yet many of us live in fear... fear of not being enough...not having enough...not doing enough... not being pretty enough... fear of what others will say about us... fear of looking a certain way in front of others... 

There are certain situations where fear can be helpful. Fear of living in poverty can motivate you to work hard + overcome your previous circumstances. Even in looking at fear from this perspective, there has to be a point where fear is eliminated. You have to ask yourself: if I have now moved up from a lower class citizen to a middle class citizen, should I still allow fear to motivate me? If I have over a year's worth of income saved in the bank, should I still be working so hard to avoid something that may not be a reality for me anymore? Sure there might always be that thought lurking in the back of your mind how you don't want to experience the situation anymore...but when do you get to start living?

We have AMAZING survival stories that we sit on! Why? Because we're afraid people are going to judge us for the mistakes we may have made that got us in that situation. I always tell my clients: perfection does not exist! We live in a society where things are twisted! We have lost the value of friendship, work ethic, family + much more. We don't invest in other people anymore. Everyone wants to rush things + use each other to make themselves look good. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but we are all fooling ourselves! 

You might say, "Seida - so what if perfection doesn't exist?" {Or maybe you don't say that at all - I would just want you to ask that question lol} If we all realize that we are perfectly imperfect, we inadvertently offer each other grace! Have you ever heard someone talking about something + felt inspired so deeply that you were prompted to action? Perhaps the action wasn't a huge step + that's okay, but maybe you heard a story about kids with autism, went home + donated to your local charity organization. Maybe you heard about a coworker's struggle with infertility + shared a video about in vitro fertilization to raise awareness. 

What's the point? We are stronger when we share our stories + walk in the vulnerability of our truth no matter how ugly it is! Our stories make us human! When we share our stories, it initiates our journey of healing while encouraging others to embrace their truth. Healing is a little bit easier when we admit + embrace our truth. This is not an easy lesson to learn, but the more you start to embrace yourself, just as you are - the good, the bad + the ugly - the more peace + joy you will experience. It takes working through those painful, negative emotions connected to the fear. 



My goal today is to get you to understand that your imperfections make you perfect...just as you are! I want you to know that everything you have experienced in your life up until this moment has been to help you become the person you are today. You might say, "Seida my life has sucked up until now" or "Seida my life sucks right now!" My response would be I am so sorry that your life sucks right now, but how can you grow from what you are going through? What is the lesson you should be learning right now? What glimmer of hope do you see in you situation? You might think well I'm 17 years old + I've never known either of my parents - where's the hope in that?

I would say: I cannot imagine the pain + disappointment you must feel; however, you have a story of strength... #1 they didn't decide to get an abortion + you're living right now #2 you matter to someone in this world whether you know it or not #3 as a result of the disappointment you felt as a child you will probably grow up to be an awesome parent #4 if you had known your parents would you have had such a close relationship with the parental figures in your life right now? Yup... that person that popped into your head! You may never have experienced the joy of that relationship without feeling the pain of abandonment. Shall I go on? 

I am not trying to minimize your experiences, but I want you to stop allowing fear to keep you quiet! Stop allowing fear to keep you from motivating people! I don't care if this is your 50 millionth time trying to finish school -- you push! Do you hear me? You push past that fear of failure + fight for what you want! I realize that pushing past fear can be painful + you can't just share your story with anyone. Healing takes time, but the more you are willing to work through the feelings surrounding your past - the easier it get. Each time it's easier to talk about it until one day you will look around + it won't bother you at all. Why? Because you overcame! Give yourself permission to grow + heal by sharing your survival story! 



Even if you share your story with just one person. Start somewhere. If you're not even sure where to start - no worries! I created a couple of worksheets to help you kick fear out of your life + start living a healthy, happy life! Click the image below to download the worksheets! Once you've completed the worksheets, feel free to share your story in the Tribe Lounge or send me an email! If you don't feel confident enough to share your story just yet... click to tweet the phrase below + share this post with your tribe!